My vision is changing.
I haven’t been to the doctor, but I heard from my eyes this week. Their
squints and blurry images told me to stop trying to see beyond what is
in front of me.
As I sit and type on my keyboard, I can see the screen. I can see my
feet. I can see the hallway and the fluff of two cats racing by. Beyond
that, like, tomorrow? It gets tricky.
And lately, since I’m laid up after my surgery (healing just fine, but
slowly), I find myself anxious with trying to see the future. These
ol’eyes don’t work that way.
In fact, even my inward eye, my felt-sense, my spirit is telling me to
rest here, now, with what I can see and sense in this moment. How do I
know my self is talking to myself? I can feel it in my clenched jaw, my pressing words, my raised shoulders…you get the picture.
Our days, our lives may become so revved up with doing – or even the
supposed-desire to DO SOMETHING – that our vision gets cloudy. What can
we really see with so much frenzy and distraction before our eyes?
Gentle reminder to self any anyone else who would like it:
When
anxious thoughts begin to race, when I wake up in the night and find
myself doing laps in my mind, I know that a reset is what I’m craving.
This week, I’m back to a practice of daily morning meditation. Even just five minutes can bring me home to the now-moment.
When I close my eyes and visit my inner space of allowing, almost
magically I can hear the cardinal singing in the back yard, notice the
coolness of the air on my skin, and feel the buzzing edges of my being
start to settle down and smooth out.
What I’m realizing is that, while I may not be able to improve my eyesight, I can definitely sharpen my vision.
Right here, right now, I can see just fine.