Something you should know about me: I am a dedicated and deep sleeper. Friends even tease me about the importance I place on sleep.
But last night, I found myself wide awake at 3:00 am.
Donning my sleep mask, I willed my eyes to stay shut. An hour later, mind alert as high noon, I arose to slip into the cool pre-dawn shadows and listen to my life awhile.
In my jammies, I settled under blankets and kitties on the couch and opened my journal with a question, “What does my life want of me?”
Softening my gaze, I quieted my thoughts and waited. It didn’t take long for wisdom to flow. The words wrote themselves:
Rest yields wisdom Quiet reveals truth Stillness breeds calm
I don’t know about you, but for me, Rest, Quiet, and Stillness have been scarce companions lately. Our wedding in October was dreamy (more on that later) but book-ended by monumental planning and cleanup, with shots of adrenaline and frenzy along the way. Also, I’ve been consumed with prepping and teaching. Fold in a season of holiday expectations and wrap that jumble of activity in the harshness and heartache of the world, and maybe it’s no wonder I couldn’t sleep.
But my Self knew what to do. My Self said, “get up and write.” So I did.
One of the few things sweeter than sleep is serenity and getting my insides out on the page. In her book, Writing Down Your Soul, Janet Conner puts words to a phenomenon that I believe but have never quite named, “Writing focuses your attention so clearly on the wisdom within that you cannot help but feel guided and loved.”
This morning, Kev got up and peered over the staircase with a worried, “Are you okay?” I answered with a grin and stretch…”yep, just listening to my life.”
On the cusp of this new year and new season of my life, I welcome rest, quiet, and stillness as never before, a fertile readiness in the clearing of my heart.