The Eyes Have It
Look in the mirror…what do you see?
More than that, what do you feel toward that person looking back at you?
I once attended a workshop by the Compassionate Listening Project which began with the facilitator inviting us to practice “kind eyes” toward one another in the Zoom room. There was no explanation of what “kind eyes” were, but somehow instinctively we knew.
Try it with me now. Imagine or look at someone you love and allow a softness to come to your eyes and face. Perhaps there is even a gentle smile on your lips. Hold it. What is possible right here, right now?
Were you able to try it? If not, please, please offer compassion to yourself and release the expectation. We may not be feeling resourced for such an invitation.
If you were able, what do you notice is present inside you? What is notably absent?
When I intentionally practice kind eyes, I notice a heart opening and a blessedly-organic quieting of any critical parts of myself. Soft, kind eyes, no judgement. Hey, a space of allowing!
Rest here a moment in this space of noticing and feeling.
How do we cultivate kind eyes?
What makes it easy or challenging to enter
that gentle, compassionate space of allowing?
After much, much learning, reflection, and practice, I recognize a few core habits of being that enable me to enter that space:
* Releasing expectation of self/other and allowing a situation to be just as it is…a radical allowing, to be sure.
* Seeking first to understand rather than needing to assert my position…this took me decades to genuinely embody.
* Maintaining presence in the face of difficulty…when my privilege would enable me to simply turn away.
* Interrogating my own bias…so I don’t “leave” myself and others when I am on unfamiliar ground.
* Turning toward rather than away from fear in all its forms, especially inside myself (lookin’ at you, Anxiety)…kind eyes in the mirror.
Kind eyes are vulnerable
Kind eyes allow seeing and being seen
Kind eyes feel brave
Kind eyes, a portal
connecting us
to ourselves and one another
We can’t fake it, but we can cultivate it.
This InsightTimer meditation called Experiencing Safety & Love – Receiving Kind Eyes gently guided by Sarah “Ocean” Gettys offers a safe space for allowing us to practice. It is a kind of befriending, a small act of love.
Who in your life needs kind eyes today?
Here’s looking at you ~ with love and allowing,
Nancy
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