Hello, loves ~
It’s summer and I’ve been basking. In the back yard and also at the beach for a quick day trip with my best pals. Standing on the shore, toes deep in the sand, I watched the movement of the waves and allowed my body to rest, my breathing to deepen, a sigh naturally releasing from my lips.
That sigh said a lot. It knew things, like, that it has been a while since I allowed myself to breathe that deeply.
This has been a season of new professional opportunities, some that involved content creation and others that required certification training. I’ve loved so much of the learning and have chosen every YES I’ve freely given.
Still, I recognize that there have been moments of overwhelm and paralysis through this season, too.
I first noticed it when I kept reading the same training screen over and over, but nothing was registering in my brain. Module 10, and I had hit a wall. Then, I noticed myself go off to eat cheese and scroll on my phone. That kind of comfort-seeking continued a few days.
Maybe I’m too old? Maybe I can’t do this…
But just because I had those thoughts didn’t mean I had to believe them.
Those moments of discomfort sounded a warning note, recalling another life chapter when I froze in place, worked excessively and grew ever-more disconnected from myself, my friends, and my happiness. That time, my body rebelled and shut down. That time, it took a deep physical, emotional, spiritual, relational detox to recover myself.
This time, I knew better…and I did better.
This time, I listened.
Getting curious about my self-soothing behavior, I tuned in to the part of me that was craving cheese. Turns out, as I listened and wrote a bit, I realized that part was afraid to do it all alone, to push through and soldier on just to meet a deadline. But rather than judging myself for my resistance like I had in the past, a compassionate “mothering” came over me as I tended my fretful part. Instead of berating myself, I acknowledged and honored my inner concerns. Almost imperceptibly, resistance softened and wisdom began to flow.
I remembered to breathe with intention,
To meditate each morning,
To notice when I was using food for comfort,
To go for walks…even just 10 minutes a day,
To check in with my feelings and see what they needed, meeting those needs as if tending a little bird that fell from its nest,
To share what was happening in the moment, rather than self-isolating.
Most importantly, to step away from work when I was maxed out.
I was activating my wisdom in a compassionate, allowing space and gradually, intentionally, plugging back in to my life.
Standing on the beach last week, hearing my own sigh, it felt like saying “thank you” to myself. The rise and fall of my chest, like the rise and fall of the waves, allowing life’s balance to be restored once again.
The ocean reminded me, and perhaps this note reminds you, to bask in the beauty of our own Selves this summer and allow the movement of life to show us the way.
