Easier said than done, eh?
Sometimes I catch myself grinding my teeth or holding my breath, and I let it all out with a “whoosh!” and realize that my mind was in overdrive.
Whether it’s recovery from illness, a disastrous news cycle, environmental distress, painful prejudice, family drama, or whatever else is in our sights, opening our hearts to the day may be the last inclination we have right now.
As human beings, we have a nervous system designed to keep us alert to threats. We are wired for safety, and our days may not contain many – or any – safe spaces for us to breathe. But remaining in a contracted, activated state isn’t sustainable, either.
In my lifetime, I’ve had my share of emotional crashes, health breakdowns, and slow recoveries, causing me to retreat into my turtle shell. I desire to open my heart to each day. Every morning, I hope. Some days crash and burn; some are triumphs. I allow myself to understand and accept that this is my human experience, and the next day I begin again.
Through it all, there is one phenomenon that can uplift me, one consistent antidote to the trials du jour, and that is the company of women.
Let’s go for a walk, grab a bite, chat on zoom, see a movie, say a prayer. What a blessing to have the company of women through each chapter of my life who are sweet sustainers, those who hold space for difficulty without judgement, who relate, who soothe, who understand.
I believe we are not meant to walk alone, tho we may tend to self-isolate when times are hard. Retreating is my default, too, and it takes effort to emerge, to reach out, to trust, and to try again when I’m crowded with worry.
But women, by our nature, can be spaces of allowing for each other.
We, by our warm energy and wisdom-sharing, can help one another co-regulate, steady our minds, and remember ourselves again.
***** ***** *****
Recently, I attended two events in honor of
International Women’s Day. The first was
a LadyBOSS Summit in my local community, featuring women entrepreneurs sharing insights, making meaningful connections, and offering lessons from their experience.
We spanned the decades, from our 20s to our 90s! The air pulsed with music and electric conversations. As I took in the the panels, the chats, photo ops, dancing, etc.
, I felt lifted by the hope and strength in every exchange.
The second experience was an online gathering you can listen to here called
Building Wisdom and Resilience for Women’s Leadership featuring my dear friend and fellow coach,
Kawtar El Alaoui. Hosted by the
Global Compassion Coalition and
Kind Mind Academy, this event welcomed women from more than eleven nations and, though we didn’t know one another,
the chat vibrated with shared experience and “You, too? Me, too!” comments.What stayed with me was Kawtar’s reminder that women lead best when we honor our nature and
“de-celerate” before accelerating into action. To me, this de-celeration is a space of allowing ourselves to pause and gain awareness for aligned action. This talk felt like a clarifying reminder and warm hug of recognition all in one.
***** ***** *****
My calendar alerts me almost daily that it’s “This International Week” or “That Special Day” but to me, it’s always Women’s Day. Always. I’ll be the woman you can call when you’re down, and I’ll reach out to you, too, when I need. We are each other’s space of allowing.
If you’re in a state of contraction right now – if your “windows to the day” are shut tight – please honor that state and what you most need. If it’s a safe space to breathe, to be heard in all your fullness, to receive love and be love, there is a resting place here for you.
This Sunday morning, from 8:00 – 11:00 am eastern time, you are invited to our monthly
Writing Toward Peace event. We gather virtually from all over the world to pause, reflect, and write our way to peace.
This month’s theme? You guessed it:
WINDOWS. Details below. Hope to see you Sunday. xo
With love, in your great company,
Nancy
