Hey, my pals ~ I had an experience the other day that I wanted to share with you because, although it was tiny, it had a mighty impact. And it had all to do with a new loving move that I tried for myself. I’m calling it a gentle pause and self-mercy.
I was out in the world and got in the way of a stranger who discharged some feelings of displeasure at me. It seems I unwittingly stepped into a place they had reserved for themself. I quickly apologized and moved along…but…I noticed that my eyes were stinging from tears of the harsh exchange.
At first, I brushed it off, telling myself, “What’s the matter with you? It was nothing! People are suffering…don’t be so sensitive. Let it go!”
But still my eyes stung with hot tears.
The “old” me would have briskly moved on with her to-do list and left the incident in the ash under her feet, shuffling on with a tiny seed of resentment lodging itself under her heart.
But this version of me…she wanted something more.
I got in my car and pulled in to the grocery store parking lot, but instead of grabbing my purse and heading inside, I sat and paused. Instinctively, I placed my hand on my heart (I’m tearing up writing this now) and rested there a moment. Then I did something I’ve never done before: I talked to myself in the gentlest, most soothing voice. Quietly, I murmured, “It’s okay. That didn’t feel good, what they said. I know it hurt you. I’m here. I love you, and we’re okay.”
Whew, y’all.
Like magic – I mean it – the stinging in my eyes subsided like a wave receding into the sea. My body warmed and settled. I noticed viscerally, stunned, and felt around inside myself. It had grown calm.
Keeping my hand on my heart, I asked my parts and mySelf, “Are we ready to get some groceries now?” and I sensed the “YES” reverberate within my heart. Only then did I move on.
The whole exchange with myself lasted no more than 3-4 minutes, but it transformed the “weather” for the rest of my day.
That – what I gave myself – was a space of allowing. It was a micro-moment of loving-kindness the likes of which I would have extended to you without question, but this time I offered it to myself, and I am all the better for it.
This lyric now floats into my awareness…what if we could sing it to ourselves?
“Who can say if I’ve been changed for the better? But
Because I knew you
I have been changed for good.”
Cheers to the goodness we offer to ourselves and to one another.
With love and allowing,
Nancy |
